On your journey to do better, you are going to find obstacles. The obstacles in your path are there to make you stronger. Building a new life is hard work and you need big, strong muscles of all kinds. On the path to empowerment, you are going to be challenged. Challenges make you quick on your feet. In 1965 I was given the responsibility of being a Register Supervisor by a British lady named Miss Squel. This work was new for me, but I wanted to perfect it; something I accomplished through hard work. It helped me a great deal when Miss Squel told me: “Edna, if you want progress in life, you must have quick feet.”

I did not understand what she meant at that time, but I used her words and am still using her words today. I want you to know that moving into your power is going to make people nervous. Just remember that challenges will teach you new ideas and give you a new approach; all the while, the new you will be emerging. Challenges make you think and rethink about what you are doing. Thinking exercises and strengthens the mind. The strong mind has nothing to fear when challenged because a strong mind can weave together an answer for whatever the challenge is.

On your climb to the top, people are going to throw stones at you. Don’t you worry about it; you are strong, you can bob and weave, and get out of the way. The stones they throw may be very big, and they will come at you from the most unlikely places…at the most inopportune moments. Don’t stop climbing! Don’t look back on your losses!

(c) 2011, Edna Gwen Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken – Warren Buffett

I find it rather curious that much of the mundane and significant aspects of who we are results from that which flows naturally out of us…that which we practice daily. Many of us fail to realize that we are a conundrum; a life of opposing forces. Daily, we get to choose which force will rule the day; in essence, what fruits we will have.

I have heard it said: “that’s just who I am” or “that’s just me” or, my favorite, “it is, what it is.” Each of these is used as an equivocation, justification, or, worse, rationalization for a life lived without discipline or self-control. All along, the real issue is never dealt with: we have bad habits. Habits that flow so naturally and insidiously mar our fortunes. Habits that, unless curbed, serve to only undermine our inherent goodness and eclipse our potential.

Until we recognize that our habits (good and bad) work behind the scenes with little mental effort, they continue to rule us to ruin (or, in the case of good habits, breed success). The challenge then is evaluating ourselves to remove bad habits and replacing them with good ones – exchanging weeds for good seeds.

Let is be known, however, that weeds (bad habits) are persistent; if we are lazy, they will overrun our field. This means we ought to be focused, diligent, and alert. As the weeds continue their efforts to reign supreme, we must cash in on our courage and exhibit greater fortitude. An example of how? Set accountability in our lives. For some, a dirty mouth or quick tongue is their bad habit; having honest relationships will ensure that the person is reminded to bring their better self out when given the opportunity to use foul language or words that shred others to pieces. There IS help, and hope; we simply need to reach out for it…

(c) 2011, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

“I have…determined to do his will.” Isaiah 50:7 NLT

Isaiah said, “I have set my face like a stone, determined to do His will.” You’ll never have real success with anything until you become passionate about it. The Psalmist wrote, “My heart is steadfast” (Psalm 57:7). The word “steadfast” means to have a commitment that is as strong as rock. Henry Ford was passionate about automobiles. Thomas Edison was passionate about light. The Wright Brothers were passionate about flying. Paul was passionate about evangelism. You will only be remembered in life for what you were passionate about.

You may feel insignificant. You may have to start out small. But when what you love begins to consume your mind, your thoughts, your conversation and your schedule—then you are headed for success. Do you dread going to work? Do you watch the clock? Does your mind wander to other places and things you would rather be doing? Then you won’t succeed. Find something you feel passionate about, something that energizes you, something worthy of building your life around.

(c) 2012, Dr. Alexander Phiri. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best – Tim Duncan

I have always enjoyed watching the San Antonio Spurs play. There is very little flash, but one is sure to see some very fundamental basketball. Having won NBA Championships in 1999, 2003, 2005, and 2007, they remain a force to reckon with as they maintain a focus on fundamentals.

Tim Duncan, their center, is simply one of the most fundamentally sound players in the NBA. He may be at the tail end of his career, but remains all too clear about his focus on consistently keeping things simple.

You and I will never reach the heights of our full potential until we devote ourselves to “keeping the main thing, the main thing” as John Maxwell puts it. In my work and experience, I find that energy is wasted and/or dissipated on one specific exercise in futility: trying to take weaknesses and make them strengths.

Sadly, it is not until we focus on our strength, our good thing, that we realize our full potential. Our weaknesses will NEVER become our strengths! EVER! If anything, they will only become average. However, when we take our strengths and pour greater energies into them, we flourish! Michael Jordan tried it; his weakness was baseball. While I am happy he got to live out his childhood dream and fantasy of playing baseball, it never was, nor will it ever be, his strength. He never excelled. At basketball, however, he is the undisputed king of the hill. Why? Because he took his good and made it better…

So…what good do you have that is begging to be let out?

(c) 2012, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals – Zig Ziglar

My students and I had a healthy debate this week contrasting “being” versus “doing.” We talked about how, in social settings, we often ask what someone does before we ask who they are.

It’s rather curious to me that we are more focused on not only what we do, but what we have – forgetting, sadly, that it’s about who we are and who we’re becoming.

Now, I understand that we need to pay the bills; that we have obligations that we must meet. Longterm, however, our overall wellbeing will always be tied to whether or not we’re “doing what we are.”

My intern, Mr. Watson, asked me about this; he wanted to know what he should be studying. He wanted to know if he should study what he loves or what will make the most money. To that, I responded: “It’s more about being able to leverage what you gain or learn for the purpose of serving others – being more than doing.”

The man I have been fortunate to become thus far is as a direct result of a desire to be more than to have. I hope that all within my influence can ascertain this of me; and emulate it in their own lives…

(c) 2012, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

Because the term management has been widely mistaken to be connotative with leadership, it is critical to clear this misnomer. Leadership is certainly different from management; however, not for the reasons many think. One leads people; one manages things (Schneider, 2003). Often, organizations have too much management and employees feel as though they are just “things.” Other times, there is so much leadership that resources are not effectively used.

Leadership and management are two distinctive and complementary systems of action (Kotter, 2000). From an organizational theory point of view, good management controls complexity; effective leadership produces useful change. Management without proper leadership is treacherous; also, one has to do with effectiveness, the other has to do with efficiency (Schneider, 2003). As Kotter noted, leadership complements management; it does not replace it. However, while organizations seek to improve their ability to lead, they must realize that strong leadership with weak management is no better, and often worse, than the reverse. The challenge, then, is to combine strong leadership with effective management and use each to balance the other.

Leadership is the ability to know where the organization needs to go – a clear vision – and also sharing that vision to create a common purpose (Schneider, 2003). Therefore, leadership has to do with the direction in which an organization is going. Management, on the other hand, is knowing what one has to do to get there; that is, the effective use of strategic resources (Schneider, 2003). Management’s role, then, after leadership has charted the course, is to get everything and everyone in place for the journey.

Management maintains the current system, but managers “do not adjust to dodging bullets, new global opportunities, or technological discontinuities…leaders do this” (Kotter, 1999, p.1). With these conditions, great managers are not enough to handle these conditions. It is important to have great leaders in the organization as well.

Management is about coping with complexity; its practices and procedures are largely a response to what Kotter (2000) calls “one of the most significant developments of the 21^st Century: the emergence of large corporations” (p.7). Unless there is good management, complex organizations tend to become chaotic and threaten their very existence. A degree of order and consistency is brought to key dimensions like the quality and profitability of products with good management. Leadership, however, is about coping with change and has become such an important part of the business world today because of the competitive and volatile nature of the environment. Also, management controls people by pushing them in the right direction; leadership motivates them by satisfying their basic human needs (Kotter, 2000).

References

Kotter, J.P. (1999). Change leadership. Executive Excellence, 16, 16-18.

Kotter, J.P. (2000). Leadership engine. Executive Excellence, 17, 7.

Schneider, M. (2003). Management vs. leadership. Aftermarket Business, 113, 11.

(c) 2012, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

“We shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Galatians 6:9

There’s a legend about a soldier being court-martialed before Alexander the Great. Believing the verdict was unjust, the soldier asked to appeal it. The conqueror informed him that there was no one higher to whom he could plead his case. “In that case,” the soldier replied, “I appeal my case from Alexander the Small, to Alexander the Great.” In each of us there is a lesser self and a greater self struggling for supremacy. Your lesser self says, “Not enough people believe in me. I will never make it.” Your greater self says, “My faith in God and in myself is enough; I can make it.” Your lesser self says, “It is taking too long to realize my dream.” Your greater self says, “Dreams are realized one day at a time.” Your lesser self says, “Enough is enough! I have taken too many hits.” Your greater self says, “I have come too far to give up now.” Your lesser self says, “I don’t have the strength to hold on to my dream.” Your greater self says, “Hold on a little longer; the darkest hour is just before the dawn.”

(c) 2012, Dr. Alexander Phiri. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

One of the great themes of the Bible is—perseverance. The Apostle Paul, who refused to quit, wrote: “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings.” Are you merely a starter, or are you also a finisher? When the enthusiasm for a new idea fades, when the odds against you increase and the results diminish, when it looks as if success is impossible, you must keep forging ahead.

Admiral Robert Peary attempted to reach the North Pole seven times before he finally succeeded. Oscar Hammerstein produced five shows on Broadway that were flops before staging Oklahoma, which was seen by almost five million people during a record-breaking run of 2,212 performances. Quitting is more about who you are, than where you are or what you are up against.

We all have our excuses. The truth is, external things don’t stop us; it is what happens to us on the inside! Most of us stop ourselves from reaching our potential. We can pretend that people, things, and situations outside of ourselves are to blame, but in reality most failures are just the result of a lack of bulldog-like tenacity. Leonardo da Vinci said, “Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed on a star, does not change his mind.” You must have a mindset to tenaciously pursue your dream. The only guarantee for failure is to stop trying. There is no insurmountable barrier, except your own inherent lack of purpose and persistence.

(c) 2012, Dr. Alexander Phiri. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

I recently picked up Tyrese Gibson’s book, “How to Get Out of Your Own Way,” and must admit my initial skepticism. I was certain this would be another self-edifying ghostwritten rant with the sole purpose of increasing publicity. I was wrong…

Mr. Gibson, whose stage number is simply Tyrese, and has starred in movies such as Transformers and Annapolis, presents a compelling and transparent case for the ills we all face: doing the same thing and expecting different results, playing the victim card (racial, gender, upbringing, etc), and other self-sabotaging tactics.

About two-thirds complete, I am moved by his candid penmanship. One of the questions he asked is the title of this post: Are you being celebrated or tolerated? I won’t venture to share the details of the context in which he posed the question (go buy the book, it’s worth it), but it did get me thinking about the discussions I have with my students and my clients each week…

As I conclude my 31st semester of teaching, I reflect on how this semester I repeatedly reminded my students that the relationships we have are a treasure and we are to be honored to be in them; likewise, those in relationship with us must treasure us and feel honored to have us. While this has the markings of humanism – where humans are center-stage in all of life – it is about an appreciation for what we have. Something that we have great control over…

Being a little (really, only a little) obsessive-compulsive about taking inventory of my life, I am often confronted with the reality of my life: I have so much to be thankful for and have the best gifts and blessings any man could ask for. Most especially, the people in my life who celebrate me, rather than tolerate me. For instance, this past weekend, I drove about an hour to Livingston to spend the day with my ailing (god)daughter at her grandmother’s. Though quite ill, she put on her best smile, sat on my lap half of the day and snuggled with me the rest of it as we watched a movie. As I drove home, I couldn’t help but think: I have been weighed and I have been measured; and I’ve not been found wanting.

You and I made no applications with regard to our parents, siblings, and other family members. But our friends, our vendors, business associates, and a few others are what we term in interpersonal communication, relationships of choice. As such, we ought to be selective with them as a sommelier is with the selection of wines. We ought to select the “wines” that we can celebrate daily and those that we know will celebrate (rather than tolerate) us.

You see, our lives truly only go so far as the people we surround ourselves with. And while I was furious as a child, I am now thankful that my parents sifted through my “friends” and reminded me that not everyone was “good enough” for me to be associated with. Because of that, I have a small army of people that celebrate me and push me to become the very best version of myself each day.

What’s your army look like?

(c) 2011, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

If your heart is not moving you, your behaviors will only be an act of compliance rather than one of joyful commitment – Dr. Alexander Phiri

I find it amazing (sometimes, amusing) that many roam the earth with so much indifference. No passion. No love. No real hunger. Living each day and carrying on with rote simplicity (or, complexity, depending on who you are) but finding little, if any, significant meaning at the end of each day. And, honestly, once I am done musing, I am heart broken…

With infinite possibilities before us, and a finite supply of time for our journey on earth, it hurts me to see how we are impassioned about that which won’t last or matter in the long run: who wins the Super Bowl, Survivor, or American Idol. But to be asked about the condition of our relationships, or the state of our personal/professional growth, leads to blank stares. Ours has become a society in which out is in and up and is down – we seem to have advanced greatly, but grown so little

My good friend Alex said it perfectly: we live compliantly instead of with commitment. We follow the rules (as arbitrary as most of them are) and do what we’re told; but deep inside we want to follow our intuition…to break free and innovate. Until our minds and hearts are in sync, we spin our wheels and complain about feeling unfulfilled; sadly failing to realize that our bosses can’t and won’t do it for us…our spouses or significant others can’t do it for us…and another job or relationship won’t fix it.

Until we put first things first, our plight becomes a blight on our entire crop: our relationships suffer, our performance suffers, and our legacies become tainted. Until we put not only our backs into it but our hearts into it, we remain a pawn on someone else’s chess board – failing to realize that every pawn is a potential queen…

So…
…is your heart is the right place?

(c) 2011, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.