I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see – John Burroughs

As I have mentioned before, there are only 8,760 hours in each year. No matter who we are, what we do, and what we possess, that is a constant that in unchanging (except, every four years for a leap year). Beyond that, that is the allotted time we have each year for work, leisure, obligations, and other activities that are debits on our time…

Books have been written, seminars organized, and coaches hired all in an effort to help us “manage” those 8,760 hours better. After over three decades of the time management movement, I find no traction in it – many continue to only wish they had “more time.”

Conversely, those who seem successful (in business, in raising a family, and other endeavors) don’t manage their time! Instead, they manage the only thing they have control over: themselves. At Kozhi Makai Worldwide, we call this meManagement – expending energy wisely and using our resources to control what we can, rather than wasting non-renewable energy on the futile effort of managing time.

Think it’s all semantics? Perhaps. What some might consider semantics allowed me to complete my BA in three and a half years, my MA in eight months, and my PhD in eighteen months…oh, yeah, and I just finished my fifth book in six years. How’s your strategy working for you?

(if you’d like to learn more about meManagement, give us a call. Or, better yet, join us at one of our meManagement events)

(c) 2012, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world – Harriet Tubman

As I reflect on yet another year of life (yes, today is my birthday), I gaze upon the trail of my life. Many speed bumps, sharp turns, and lots of crossroads. I ask myself: “How did I make it through that?!” After much contemplation, I arrive at the same answer: the dream pushed me past the pain.

I’ve always been a dreamer. Growing up, a Bruce Lee flick would induce dreams of being a martial arts expert; Top Gun induced dreams of being a fighter pilot; dropping off or picking up my dad from the airport induced dreams of traveling the world, like my Secret Service father. My little mind never lacked for stimuli to breed deep aspirations…

I doubt my experience is unique. I bet you (and many of the people you know) did the same: envisioned being a professional baseball player…becoming a faithful spouse…owning your own business one day. As I look across the audiences I am so very fortunate to share my experiences and knowledge with, I am heartbroken. Many have abandoned their dreams – the road got too tough – and others relegated their dreams to childhood musings – trading them in for the “grown up” world of bills, mortgages, and…”safety.”

I struggle to believe that this is it for them. That the woman who dreamed of lovingly caring for her husband and children is now content with being alone (or in a fruitless, not-heading-towards-matrimony “thing”). That the man with a vision of job creation and innovative products/services is OK with clocking in and clocking out of a job that he despises and working for a boss he does not respect. That the man who had a burning vision for meaningful work that had him able to attend his children’s recitals during the work week is fine with 70-hour work weeks and he is so busy, he doesn’t realize his children are now teenagers. Can this be all?

I think not! Dreams are important; not only as a child grows but also as an adult matures. We cannot abandon our dreams; we must not abandon our dreams. As Langston Hughes’ poem notes: “…if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird…for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow.”

Will you find your dream(s) again?

(c) 2012, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart… forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits – Hannah More

I read recently that refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die. While many of us would dismiss this as futile, we do this much more than we are willing to admit. I could go into a lengthy exposition about forgiveness being more beneficial to us than to the person we forgive, but that’s not where my arrow is pointed today. My arrow is pointed at your heart, not to guilt you but to release you…

Many of us…well, I’ll speak for myself…
I don’t often have a problem forgiving others. My attitude towards the forgiveness of others is: “I’m too lazy to carry a grudge.” I have better things to do than dwell on the past and allow someone else to rob me of my joy because they offended me (wittingly or unwittingly). When it comes to forgiving Kozhi, however, that’s a different story…

See, I’m a recovering overachiever. The psychologist in me is tempted to take a Freudian approach and blame it on my upbringing – after all, I am the last of nine children. I could also take the Rogerian approach and base it on my “unique” experience of life to this point. All psycho-babble aside, I am driven, I play to win, and I set the bar pretty high. The common side effects include: being too hard on myself, not resting enough, not letting others do things because they may not do it right/well, just to mention a few. Now, when I do something awful, make a big blunder, or just plain let my brain go on vacation, I can be brutal on myself. What does this look like? Self-loathing…failure to reconcile any positives…and the shrinking of the world to what I have done wrong…

Sure, I’ll forgive YOU! But sometimes I simply can’t or won’t forgive myself. Do you relate to this moment of honesty and vulnerability? I hope so, because I don’t believe I am the only one suffering from this assault on my psyche, self-concept, and general sense of wellbeing.

How do I cope? About 11 years ago, I read a book by Dr. Charles Stanley titled The Blessings of Brokenness. In it, he shared how a man (or woman) who embraced God’s forgiveness cannot embody a lack of forgiveness at the same time. This would be (gulp), in essence, suggesting that his/her standard of forgiveness was higher than God’s.

Now, I don’t know if you’re a person of faith or not, but the lesson is universal: if we can forgive others, we must also forgive ourselves. Drinking the poison of unforgiveness only serves to undermine all that our moments of brokenness can yield – intense and necessary self-discovery.

Will you give you another chance? Forgive yourself…

(c) 2012, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and diligence – Abigail Adams

Having completed 11 years of primary and secondary school, three and a half years of undergraduate school, and two and a half years of graduate school, I have discovered only one thing: I’m wanting in so much! I have noticed just how little I know and how severely deficient my knowledge, understanding, and wisdom is.

What, then, was the purpose of my formal education? To teach me how to learn. It has been said that “education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open mind.” My mind is not “full” by any definition; instead, it is now open. It is open to seeing things beyond my prejudices. It is open to dialogue concerning ideas and ideals that clash with my long-held views and perceptions. I may not be moved from those views and perceptions, but the dialogue gives me a firmer basis for my ideals!

It has been said that “if you want to start an argument, start a conversation about religion or politics.” How sad! Forgive the disrespect, but only the unlearned “argue” about politics and religion! I was an excellent debater in college, and won my cases by turning my opponent’s argument on its head (and seeing what fell out). In my “real” life, I do the same to not only a differing opinion but also my own opinion. As for religion, last I checked, God isn’t in need of an attorney – I don’t need to “defend” Him! Without healthy debate, however, I lose out on a deeper appreciation for my religious and political ideals.

This is the same in other areas of human endeavor: the learned seek opportunities to pour into themselves and become better at learning. Gail Blanke, in her excellent book Between Trapezes, noted how some people just love being right about the rest of us being wrong. Such people lose more than they gain; after all, “you cannot fill a cup which is already full,” as James Cameron wisely retorts in his blockbuster Avatar.

How are you handling your learning potential?

(c) 2012, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

On your journey to do better, you are going to find obstacles. The obstacles in your path are there to make you stronger. Building a new life is hard work and you need big, strong muscles of all kinds. On the path to empowerment, you are going to be challenged. Challenges make you quick on your feet. In 1965 I was given the responsibility of being a Register Supervisor by a British lady named Miss Squel. This work was new for me, but I wanted to perfect it; something I accomplished through hard work. It helped me a great deal when Miss Squel told me: “Edna, if you want progress in life, you must have quick feet.”

I did not understand what she meant at that time, but I used her words and am still using her words today. I want you to know that moving into your power is going to make people nervous. Just remember that challenges will teach you new ideas and give you a new approach; all the while, the new you will be emerging. Challenges make you think and rethink about what you are doing. Thinking exercises and strengthens the mind. The strong mind has nothing to fear when challenged because a strong mind can weave together an answer for whatever the challenge is.

On your climb to the top, people are going to throw stones at you. Don’t you worry about it; you are strong, you can bob and weave, and get out of the way. The stones they throw may be very big, and they will come at you from the most unlikely places…at the most inopportune moments. Don’t stop climbing! Don’t look back on your losses!

(c) 2011, Edna Gwen Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken – Warren Buffett

I find it rather curious that much of the mundane and significant aspects of who we are results from that which flows naturally out of us…that which we practice daily. Many of us fail to realize that we are a conundrum; a life of opposing forces. Daily, we get to choose which force will rule the day; in essence, what fruits we will have.

I have heard it said: “that’s just who I am” or “that’s just me” or, my favorite, “it is, what it is.” Each of these is used as an equivocation, justification, or, worse, rationalization for a life lived without discipline or self-control. All along, the real issue is never dealt with: we have bad habits. Habits that flow so naturally and insidiously mar our fortunes. Habits that, unless curbed, serve to only undermine our inherent goodness and eclipse our potential.

Until we recognize that our habits (good and bad) work behind the scenes with little mental effort, they continue to rule us to ruin (or, in the case of good habits, breed success). The challenge then is evaluating ourselves to remove bad habits and replacing them with good ones – exchanging weeds for good seeds.

Let is be known, however, that weeds (bad habits) are persistent; if we are lazy, they will overrun our field. This means we ought to be focused, diligent, and alert. As the weeds continue their efforts to reign supreme, we must cash in on our courage and exhibit greater fortitude. An example of how? Set accountability in our lives. For some, a dirty mouth or quick tongue is their bad habit; having honest relationships will ensure that the person is reminded to bring their better self out when given the opportunity to use foul language or words that shred others to pieces. There IS help, and hope; we simply need to reach out for it…

(c) 2012, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

“I have…determined to do his will.” Isaiah 50:7 NLT

Isaiah said, “I have set my face like a stone, determined to do His will.” You’ll never have real success with anything until you become passionate about it. The Psalmist wrote, “My heart is steadfast” (Psalm 57:7). The word “steadfast” means to have a commitment that is as strong as rock. Henry Ford was passionate about automobiles. Thomas Edison was passionate about light. The Wright Brothers were passionate about flying. Paul was passionate about evangelism. You will only be remembered in life for what you were passionate about.

You may feel insignificant. You may have to start out small. But when what you love begins to consume your mind, your thoughts, your conversation and your schedule—then you are headed for success. Do you dread going to work? Do you watch the clock? Does your mind wander to other places and things you would rather be doing? Then you won’t succeed. Find something you feel passionate about, something that energizes you, something worthy of building your life around.

(c) 2012, Dr. Alexander Phiri. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best – Tim Duncan

I have always enjoyed watching the San Antonio Spurs play. There is very little flash, but one is sure to see some very fundamental basketball. Having won NBA Championships in 1999, 2003, 2005, and 2007, they remain a force to reckon with as they maintain a focus on fundamentals.

Tim Duncan, their center, is simply one of the most fundamentally sound players in the NBA. He may be at the tail end of his career, but remains all too clear about his focus on consistently keeping things simple.

You and I will never reach the heights of our full potential until we devote ourselves to “keeping the main thing, the main thing” as John Maxwell puts it. In my work and experience, I find that energy is wasted and/or dissipated on one specific exercise in futility: trying to take weaknesses and make them strengths.

Sadly, it is not until we focus on our strength, our good thing, that we realize our full potential. Our weaknesses will NEVER become our strengths! EVER! If anything, they will only become average. However, when we take our strengths and pour greater energies into them, we flourish! Michael Jordan tried it; his weakness was baseball. While I am happy he got to live out his childhood dream and fantasy of playing baseball, it never was, nor will it ever be, his strength. He never excelled. At basketball, however, he is the undisputed king of the hill. Why? Because he took his good and made it better…

So…what good do you have that is begging to be let out?

(c) 2012, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals – Zig Ziglar

My students and I had a healthy debate this week contrasting “being” versus “doing.” We talked about how, in social settings, we often ask what someone does before we ask who they are.

It’s rather curious to me that we are more focused on not only what we do, but what we have – forgetting, sadly, that it’s about who we are and who we’re becoming.

Now, I understand that we need to pay the bills; that we have obligations that we must meet. Longterm, however, our overall wellbeing will always be tied to whether or not we’re “doing what we are.”

My intern, Mr. Watson, asked me about this; he wanted to know what he should be studying. He wanted to know if he should study what he loves or what will make the most money. To that, I responded: “It’s more about being able to leverage what you gain or learn for the purpose of serving others – being more than doing.”

The man I have been fortunate to become thus far is as a direct result of a desire to be more than to have. I hope that all within my influence can ascertain this of me; and emulate it in their own lives…

(c) 2012, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.

Because the term management has been widely mistaken to be connotative with leadership, it is critical to clear this misnomer. Leadership is certainly different from management; however, not for the reasons many think. One leads people; one manages things (Schneider, 2003). Often, organizations have too much management and employees feel as though they are just “things.” Other times, there is so much leadership that resources are not effectively used.

Leadership and management are two distinctive and complementary systems of action (Kotter, 2000). From an organizational theory point of view, good management controls complexity; effective leadership produces useful change. Management without proper leadership is treacherous; also, one has to do with effectiveness, the other has to do with efficiency (Schneider, 2003). As Kotter noted, leadership complements management; it does not replace it. However, while organizations seek to improve their ability to lead, they must realize that strong leadership with weak management is no better, and often worse, than the reverse. The challenge, then, is to combine strong leadership with effective management and use each to balance the other.

Leadership is the ability to know where the organization needs to go – a clear vision – and also sharing that vision to create a common purpose (Schneider, 2003). Therefore, leadership has to do with the direction in which an organization is going. Management, on the other hand, is knowing what one has to do to get there; that is, the effective use of strategic resources (Schneider, 2003). Management’s role, then, after leadership has charted the course, is to get everything and everyone in place for the journey.

Management maintains the current system, but managers “do not adjust to dodging bullets, new global opportunities, or technological discontinuities…leaders do this” (Kotter, 1999, p.1). With these conditions, great managers are not enough to handle these conditions. It is important to have great leaders in the organization as well.

Management is about coping with complexity; its practices and procedures are largely a response to what Kotter (2000) calls “one of the most significant developments of the 21^st Century: the emergence of large corporations” (p.7). Unless there is good management, complex organizations tend to become chaotic and threaten their very existence. A degree of order and consistency is brought to key dimensions like the quality and profitability of products with good management. Leadership, however, is about coping with change and has become such an important part of the business world today because of the competitive and volatile nature of the environment. Also, management controls people by pushing them in the right direction; leadership motivates them by satisfying their basic human needs (Kotter, 2000).

References

Kotter, J.P. (1999). Change leadership. Executive Excellence, 16, 16-18.

Kotter, J.P. (2000). Leadership engine. Executive Excellence, 17, 7.

Schneider, M. (2003). Management vs. leadership. Aftermarket Business, 113, 11.

(c) 2012, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.