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How to Build Resiliency

resiliency Apr 27, 2022
 

Resiliency is the difference between surviving trauma/challenges and thriving in spite of trauma/challenges. We can develop resiliency and thrive despite the pain life sometimes brings.

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The Practice Of Precision

mindset resiliency Dec 02, 2020

I’ve always been fascinated by the deep connection between horse and rider. Watching my niece compete with such precision and grace is simply amazing. To achieve this level of grace and precision requires timing and connectedness...

To what degree do you deliver precision? I’m not talking about perfection here; I’m talking about accuracy and exactness. Every work and personal product we deliver has our fingerprints on it. Is your fingerprint one of precision?

I’d like to challenge you to begin the Practice of Precision. Think of it as “being exactly that and neither more nor less” — being on the money. That’s how you gain the reputation for being reliable: Precision.

Our roles in life belong to no one but us. If we don’t play them as we ought to (exactly that, no more, no less), then we hurt the production. Again, I don’t mean perfection; I mean playing our part with accuracy.

Here’s an example: My goal as a parent is...

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Toughness Training 101

resiliency Sep 02, 2020
My professional career has centered around 4 areas of specialization: Communication, Leadership, Relationships, and Resiliency. In many ways, 3 of these owe their success largely to 1. Any guesses as to which one?
 
If you’ve guessed Resiliency, you’d be correct...
Without Resiliency, communication is only about exchanging messages.
Without Resiliency, leadership is only about power and control.
Without Resiliency, relationships are only about what we can get.
 
Resiliency is a LEARNED skill — one that can’t be taught in a classroom. Resiliency is borne out of the struggle, mistakes, mishaps, and misfortunes that are the rent we all must pay to live on Earth. With the right perspective, Resiliency and it’s acquisition are a beautiful thing!
 
With Resiliency, communication becomes about garnering shared meaning.
With Resiliency, leadership becomes about mission, vision, and people.
With Resiliency, relationships become about mutual...
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What Are You Doing With This Storm?

resiliency Aug 05, 2020
I don’t know about you, but I haven’t often taken a straight line towards the things that matter and mean the most to me. It’s been a curvy road, often with cliffs on either side...
 
There aren’t many straight roads in the game of life. Straight roads would be too easy. And they often don’t create the strongest of men, women, and children.
 
In the middle of a storm, it’s easy for us to wish for easy. Things can be so hard, we just want a break. Truth is, storms are what make the best sailors...
What are you doing with this storm?
 
Complaining? That’s not a strategy.
Netflixing? That’s not a plan.
Blaming? That doesn’t change circumstances.
 
Kozhi’s Challenge:
Practice EXTREME OWNERSHIP today.
Take FULL, TOTAL, and COMPLETE ownership of your life and your work.
It doesn’t matter who’s to blame for your circumstances. That knowledge won’t change your circumstances. What...
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How We Beat These Times

resiliency Jul 22, 2020
Phenomenology...
...I love it because it captures the lived experiences of an individual at a point in time. I suppose that’s why I love photography. It captures a moment in time and there’s texture, feeling, light, dark, and so much more...
 
This week, I spent time working with a wonderful national leadership organization facilitating a dialogue on the lived experience and how it impacts relationships. Our experiences are filled with texture, feeling, light, dark, and so much more. We can’t run from that...
 
In the middle of our current health and social challenges, let’s engage deeper. Let’s see that there’s texture, feeling, light, dark, and so much more to each person’s experience. Rather than minimizing one another’s experience, let’s dig deeper and engage in them...
 
No one knows my experience like I do.
No one experiences my day like I do.
That is...until someone chooses to listen.
Let’s...
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Narrative Flexibility

resiliency Jul 09, 2020
Posttraumatic growth involves the powerful experience of narrative transformation. The secret to achieving narrative transformation, and ultimately posttraumatic growth and resiliency, is learning how to assign appropriate meaning to life’s events.
- Disrupted!: Resiliently Reintegrating After Stress & Adversity

COVID-19 has invaded our collective consciousness. I can’t remember any event capturing our imagination on a global scale as much as this pandemic. As a phenomenologist, I traffic in the lived experiences of those I’m fortunate to conduct my research with. The power of story has fascinated me since my childhood in Zambia, where the fabric of our history is woven deeply into our stories and narratives.

As I look at the landscape of our world, it’s clear COVID-19 is seared in every one of our stories. The difference, I believe, lies in how we process this experience and what value we place on this experience. Calhoun and Tedeschi are researchers who...

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Do You See HOPE In A Sunrise/Sunset?

resiliency Jul 07, 2020
What do you see in a sunset (or a sunrise)
The beginning of the day? Or the end of the day?

On Independence Day, I worked a few hours before I got to sit and enjoy some time off and do some reflecting. This sunset was the perfect backdrop for my musings.

I see HOPE in my sunrises and my sunsets...
I’m reminded that a new day is dawning, and that an evening of promise approaches.
I’m consoled knowing that I DON’T have to control everything.
That some of my best blessings are gifts such as witnessing another sunset.

Recent research by Gallup has found that what we all need during this pandemic is HOPE.
I’m not talking about hope springing eternal; I’m talking about visionary hope.
The kind of hope that puts anticipation deep within us.
The kind of hope that makes us yearn for another chance at life.
The kind of hope that puts actions behind dreams and intent.

How do we find that hope?
By SOWING it...
If we want a harvest of hope in our selves...
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Do You Have Too Many Tabs Open?

resiliency Jun 24, 2020
A few years ago, I decided I wanted to learn how to juggle. No, the circus wasn’t in town, and I wasn’t auditioning! 😡

As a social scientist, I was conducting a study on learning and metacognition. Figured I’d see if the science worked on me.

After many hours of practice, I learned how to juggle three balls, lemons, oranges, etc. Proud of myself, I thought I’d add a forth item...

Short story? As much as I want more, three items is my max. Adding a forth, or fifth, means the whole thing comes tumbling down.

Do you feel that way sometimes?
Like you’re juggling three things like a boss, and then a forth, fifth, or sixth thing is thrown in and the whole thing falls apart?

You’re not alone. The simple fact is that we try to do too much. We shame ourselves into feeling like we’re not doing enough...

Perhaps it’s your culture. Or your upbringing. Or your perfectionism. Whatever it is, it’s not sustainable. Please. Stop.

You have too many...
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To Win...We Never Quit!

resiliency Jun 19, 2020
Nothing beats “earned rest” — the kind you’ve had to pay a steep price for. It could be a long run, multiple extra shifts at work, a season of depression, or fighting for a dream that’s been 10 years in the making...

In my success journey, I’ve found that the great equalizer is perseverance. Talent isn’t enough. Opportunity isn’t enough. Strength isn’t enough. Even courage isn’t enough. To win, we have to never quit!

H. Jackson Brown holds the trophy to my favorite quote: “In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins; not through strength but by perseverance.” DON’T YOU DARE QUIT, MY FRIEND!

© 2020, Dr. Kozhi Sidney Makai. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system without the written consent of the copyright holder.
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