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"...except for the elite, marathoners do not really compete against each other"
- Harvey Mackay, "Pushing the Envelope...All the Way to the Top"

I spoke at a graduation some time ago and expressed an important thought to the graduates and their families: YOU WILL HAVE TO DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE; IF NOT, SOMEONE ELSE WILL SURELY DO IT FOR YOU!

With the uncertain state of the economy, many of us are in reactive and panic mode. Let me be sure to note that I do not take lightly the fact that an economy that crashes causes jobs to be lost, homes and vehicles to be taken away, or that retirement and college savings tend to be all but part of a disappearing act or "trick" (where, of course, the audience is not applauding in sheer and joyful amazement). I’m here to tell you, my friends, that there's something to be said about focusing on the most important things during this potential turmoil: WE determine who we ARE during this process.

The late Erich Fromm, psychoanalyst extraordinaire,...

"Empathy...lubricates human relationships" - Harvey Mackay

Empathy. It has the power to let others know we're listening...it has the ability to remind us of our own brokenness and need for connection. No matter what kind of relationship we're dealing with, it is improved when the other person feels important - understood and appreciated. It's been said that "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." It couldn't be put any more succinctly!

Many of us are enduring trying times, and "good people" are facing difficult situations and the arbitrary measures we use to size people up - credit scores, for instance - matter so little. A while back, I was sitting in one of my former students' office, a Vice President at a bank, when one of his associates dropped the fancy keys of a BMW X5 - the individual who had the vehicle simply could not keep up with the payments...

Are we to judge that individual, as their credit scores will undoubtedly reflect? I do not know...

"How does a person survive his own life, the ceaseless surprises, uncertainties, struggles, rerouting in strange, inconvenient directions? What force is it, exactly, that flips a falling man back on his feet, reconstitutes him after disaster, helps him prevail in the face of challenges far beyond his previous limits? What mysterious strength is it that enables us to outsmart 'the terrorists within,' those destructive maniacs under the skin - cynicism, despair, resignation, terror - that threaten to stop us in our tracks? Finally, how is it possible not merely to survive our greatest obstacles but to prevail in circumstances that threaten to stop us?"  - "When You're Falling, Dive", Mark Matousek

No doubt, as the turbulence of our present world presses hard against our minds, we all have questions. "Are we going to make it?" "Will I keep my home?" "My car?" "My job?" "How will I feed and clothe the children?" "What kind of man/woman am I?"

Yes, these are truly potent and real...

"We are never defined by our past...we are only prepared by it."- Alexander Phiri, Milton Keynes, England

Alex and I share many common life experiences; when we have our "almost weekly" phone conversations, it's both encouraging and challenging. Kindred hearts and spirits...we're separated by the Atlantic, but united by a bond of brotherhood like no other. Some time ago, we were discussing the past: its ability to render impotent even the most viable dreams and its uncanny maneuvers against creativity. It was then that Alex said: "You know, Sid, we are never defined by our past...we are only prepared by it." He went on to share how every single act, situation, and thought from my past is the eclectic education I needed to function effectively in my present.

I wonder, then...

...at what point does the past become a preparatory tool?

Friends, I believe that it is when we choose - when we become bold enough to face our past and declare it our "Future...

"Our world is changing faster than ever before, and the importance of learning is growing even faster. Any significant improvement in life...is based on learning."
– Samuel Daniel, Earl of Southampton

More often than not, I find myself in the middle of discussions about the past. A while back, I met with a friend who was sorely disappointed by the actions of someone close. The results of those actions were far-reaching, and were also causing much present grief. I could not help but think how this was a potent situation for growth - after all, I thought, what could be a greater impetus for higher level living and thinking than learning [in the words of the title of Dr. Seligman's book] "what you can change and what you can't"?

"The knowledge of the difference between what we can change and what we must accept in ourselves is the beginning of real change," says Dr. Martin P. Seligman. It worries me, this lack of appreciation for who we are. That is, our inability to change some...

"The greatest works of admiration, and all the fair examples of renown, out of distress and misery are grown."
– Samuel Daniel, Earl of Southampton

A while back I was having an online conversation with one of my college buddies, I was asked how I was doing. I responded "well" and added a "smiley face" to my post. At that, he asked if that was genuine joy or if I was "hysterically smiling in the face of adversity" - this, of course, prompted me to LOL. Oops...I mean...that prompted me to laugh out loud (really loud). We’ve been friends for about five years now and he's come to know me as the boy who pops an optimism pill as much as Dr. House (on Fox's former hit show "House") pops pain killers. Needless to say, in this instance, I was simply genuinely overjoyed; but that phrase prompted a thought process that led to what you are now reading...

Taunting, I have found, can be an effective tool to discourage and, in essence, disarm one's enemies. While my opponents during a...