BLOG

"...except for the elite, marathoners do not really compete against each other"
- Harvey Mackay, "Pushing the Envelope...All the Way to the Top"

I spoke at a graduation some time ago and expressed an important thought to the graduates and their families: YOU WILL HAVE TO DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE; IF NOT, SOMEONE ELSE WILL SURELY DO IT FOR YOU!

With the uncertain state of the economy, many of us are in reactive and panic mode. Let me be sure to note that I do not take lightly the fact that an economy that crashes causes jobs to be lost, homes and vehicles to be taken away, or that retirement and college savings tend to be all but part of a disappearing act or "trick" (where, of course, the audience is not applauding in sheer and joyful amazement). I’m here to tell you, my friends, that there's something to be said about focusing on the most important things during this potential turmoil: WE determine who we ARE during this process.

The late Erich Fromm, psychoanalyst extraordinaire,...

"Empathy...lubricates human relationships" - Harvey Mackay

Empathy. It has the power to let others know we're listening...it has the ability to remind us of our own brokenness and need for connection. No matter what kind of relationship we're dealing with, it is improved when the other person feels important - understood and appreciated. It's been said that "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." It couldn't be put any more succinctly!

Many of us are enduring trying times, and "good people" are facing difficult situations and the arbitrary measures we use to size people up - credit scores, for instance - matter so little. A while back, I was sitting in one of my former students' office, a Vice President at a bank, when one of his associates dropped the fancy keys of a BMW X5 - the individual who had the vehicle simply could not keep up with the payments...

Are we to judge that individual, as their credit scores will undoubtedly reflect? I do not know...

"How does a person survive his own life, the ceaseless surprises, uncertainties, struggles, rerouting in strange, inconvenient directions? What force is it, exactly, that flips a falling man back on his feet, reconstitutes him after disaster, helps him prevail in the face of challenges far beyond his previous limits? What mysterious strength is it that enables us to outsmart 'the terrorists within,' those destructive maniacs under the skin - cynicism, despair, resignation, terror - that threaten to stop us in our tracks? Finally, how is it possible not merely to survive our greatest obstacles but to prevail in circumstances that threaten to stop us?"  - "When You're Falling, Dive", Mark Matousek

No doubt, as the turbulence of our present world presses hard against our minds, we all have questions. "Are we going to make it?" "Will I keep my home?" "My car?" "My job?" "How will I feed and clothe the children?" "What kind of man/woman am I?"

Yes, these are truly potent and real...